Go to google and type XXX
.......Is that how you look for porn?
We fish bowled my car and anna told us a story about time travel and part of it had people melted into the side of a boat and i imagined them being melted into my car moaning in pain and then we got scared and thought zombies were outside and couldn't leave for a while.
Lol i'z typing this with my 962 nose
962=my?
Yeah.i
I can actually hear my brain cells scream as they die when she speaks.
either way he was missing a nipple.
I'm not 100% on this, but I'm pretty sure I just accidently talked my way into a threesome.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
The sign in front of ihop says "designated drivers get half off their order"
I'm masturbating to football. This is why I get guys and you don't
Woke up to the first three complete chapters of my new novel titled "If My Dick Could Talk" waiting for me on my laptop
This coming from the girl who broke up with a guy because she found out he played the tuba in middle school.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
I think I'm gonna cut my hair just so I stop waking up with semen in it
I just slept for fifteen hours straight. It's like my body knows i'm drinking with you and is preparing..
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