I think i really like him...he was super cuddly and kept me company.
stop. you already have a dog
she was bad bro. like...id rather put my dick in a blender. twice.
it can't be normal that my body odor smells like fries
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
I fell asleep with all the lights and heat on in the apartment with windows open, Earth Hour is lost on people like me.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
I hope you get your threesome on vday. I'll probably get flowers and a candlelit dinner. trade you. I wish this guy was more of a slut and had less of a heart. I would like 2 dicks please fuck your flowers!
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
Omg no hes gotta go down on me. Then itll be like my vagina has kissed the stanley cup.
Remember those neighbors I thought were FBI agents? Turns out they're DEA.
Randomize
