tonight is going to be epic. can you pre-book an ambulance?
i don't think my life will be extraordinarily more meaningful if i let him put his tongue in my butthole.
I'm wayyy too drunk to be in a parade right now
If you bring me a slurpee and advil I will eat you out for like an hour.
Define 'illegal'. Your idea of it and my idea are in separate universes.
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I need a leash, or some shame. Maybe.
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
She tackled him mid-puke while the other two were cutting up a $60 dildo with a kitchen knife and putting the pieces in a Corona bottle.
I shaved my pussy for you. If you complain about a single hair that I missed again, you will be greeted by a bush the next time you go down on me and i will MAKE YOU KEEP GOING
30-degree weather + Metal Cockring Monday = really hard to pee.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
She texted me this morning asking why all of her house pillows were inside her mini-van.
So thats where i built my buckingham palace
Flight got cancelled. Stayed in the same hotel as the flight crew so now I can cross Sex with Pilot off the bucket list
He regularly flies into DC, so I’m going to sign him up for my Frequent Flyer program!
Randomize
