He jizzed my face. I had to ask for a washcloth. He ran his underwear under the water and handed them to me. Not so romantic.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Home, forcing the cats to make out. Someone should get some.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
oh and i'm sorry i sold you for three cigarettes last night
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Tell me not to purchase 500 ball pit balls and a kiddy pool
No
Drink for every country you've never heard of.
Fuuuuuuuuuck
His penis smells like laundry I just wanted to cuddle it
He fingered me in a Waffle House bathroom and then stole a traffic cone. Is this love that I'm feeling?
Just woke up. Will be over soon. DON'T LEAVE THE CHAMPAGNE UNSUPERVISED.
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