Wait. When you mean sick you mean a cold sick right ? not something else.
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
He did not want a thank you for helping me move in bj. I don't know how to thank him now.
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
I'm playing a game where i judge myself by whats in my cart. Also have 3 bright red giant buckets
He smells so good today
Seriously, back away from the sexual harrasment suit.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
its 4am. im standing over him in my bed eating chinese food, on the phone with dan trying to convince him to break up with his gf. whoredom.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
I felt like... 50% confused and 50% like a slow roasted flip flop.
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
Turns out both me and my grandpa have a guilty pleasure for South American men.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
This town reeks of teen pregnancy.
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize