She was sleeping without a shirt so I thought I wouldI sneaked a peek at her nipples..than I realized they were just warts...on her back.
I know I'm really high but I swear I just saw him beating off to his fantasy football roster.
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
What's the protocol for seeing the two girls you've been sleeping with in the store WHILE buying condoms?
3some
You're right, stupid question.
Turns out that my surprise "happy birthday" drop-in for my dad turned into a "my parents like afternoon sex a lot" realization.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
The cleaning lady has moved my vibrator twice now so I would say I'm pretty ready to move out.
Apparently while fucking a girl in the ass last night I cracked a molar, trying to find a dentist now.
Sorry for drunkely attacking your best friend with a bow and arrow then loudly crying myself to sleep....PMS?
Whenever you have to pee or whatever I'll be over here to harass you
As your friend, I promise I will drink a full bottle of vodka and belly slide down the stairs with you if that test is positive
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
I'd give my right arm to start my period. My right arm. Thats more significant then my left.
Anything special planned for Valentines Day?
Does testing the strength of my coworker’s marriage count?
Randomize
