me and my sister are feeding my dog poprocks. this is proof you don't need a lot of money to have fun.
my family just sang happy birthday to baby jesus. no ones even drunk yet
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
He had Jail Releases phone number programed into speed dial on his phone.
He compared my vagina to the first time he tried cocaine
THERE IS THE SEXIEST BEARDED MAN HERE. I CAME EVERYWHERE.
He told me he felt like he shoud say thank you and as a prize i could keep anything from his room that i wanted.
And before you get all mad cause I said "nipples," I actually discarded "you are so wet right now" and "you have such a raging clit-on right now."
That's called being sensitive.
How the hell do you leave a party with a kitten? It's missing and everyone knows it was you.
I've made my dad a martini every night since I was 13.. I got this
It's a toss up. They'll either laugh and watch you drunkenly fuck on the beach or they'll throw you deep in Mexican jail.
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
LETS THROW SHIT OFF THE PORCH
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Randomize
