I like how you refer to peeing in the car as "super cute"
dude she licked ball and has every Are you afraid of the dark episode on dvd
lock that shit down
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Haha, you avoided her at all costs. And then she shoved her tits in your face
If you're knocked up, we're telling everyone it's mine and that the power of our love overcame the inherent reproductive limitations of two vhagines.
I think I'm still drunk and I think you were in my dream (sadly, it was not a sexual bill murray one).
You are a piece of meat with a side of awesome to me.
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
If someone made a breakfast cereal that was a cross between lucky charms and fruity pebbles and called it unicorn power with a huge fucking rainbow and a unicorn standing in a pot of gold on the box, they would be rich. Not only monetarily but spiritually as well...
look for me at the Giants game I will possibly be the drunk girl passed out by 2nd
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Yeah, we got drunk and stole road signs.
Randomize