i just added your friend Valery on the FB just to comment on your tits.... thought id give you a heads up
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
He's currently surrounded by roughly 23 girls he fucked and never called. He may not make it out of here. Bar of doom? Or of redemption?
He needs to seriously stop texting me at 3am for sex. Late night and early morning hours are for the guys who DON'T bust a nut in the first 5 minutes of making out.
Yeah minute men are best for late afternoons when you're inbetween running errands and have nothing to do.
I'm not judging you. Just know that you could be Queen of The World. Instead you're 5:28 p.m ponging. I hope you're at least winning
I've never seen a guy eye-fuck someone so hard in my entire life. I thought he would develop laser vision, bore holes into your body, and not even realize your innards would be spilling everywhere. That's how bad it was.
Boobs are out for the taking
There are no female cereal mascots. I just realized that in my drunken state... So sexist...
Also, do you think i could get away with finishing my vodka cranberry from last night at work if i put orange juice in it? Serious question.
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
No one with a hairstyle like that is allowed to insult anyone for anything
I feel like ditching all logic and responsibility and get shit-faced before the week's over. Thoughts?
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
Randomize
