Well my night just got interesting. I just home from the police station. Hope you had a fun night out!
i just want to meat her and do terribly wonderful things to her vagina...
discovery: the myth about swedish girls giving good head? not a myth.
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just realized i can abbreviate thomas paine as t pain in poli theory class notes....YES
If you bang a chick other than your girlfriend while playing tiger woods on xbox I wonder if an accomplishment would come up...
So, after having sex with my 4th overweight girl in 2 weeks, I've decided Charlie Sheen syndrome is ruining my life.
you never texted me what you wanted from the store so I got a piece of chicken and bottle of tequila. if you want anything else you are on your own.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
he has pokemon bedsheets but his dick is huge so i took one for the team
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
What use have I for dignity? It just get's in the way of the really fun stuff.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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