It's like I'm the Little Bo Peep of sheparding dicks.
Only someone with your twisted mind could come up with that simile. Do you sit around and read 'How to turn Beloved Childrens Stories into Sexual Analogies?' This is the 3rd time you've done this.
OH MY GOD. JESUS STRIPPER. THERE IS A JESUS STRIPPER HERE. A STRIPPER DRESSED AS JESUS.
She's lying on the sidewalk wailing that she is gonna die alone, with hundreds of strangers watching us, and also we lost Kate, . Please help me
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I woke up naked wrapped in my roommate's towel with one leg shaved and money thrown all over the room. Happy 21st birthday.
The water at the venue tasted HORRIBLE so I just kept drinking booze. It was like the medievals.
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
I'm truly not mad that he's at a strip club, it's that he couldn't look far enough into the future to figure out how to get himself home from one
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
I just ate the lyft drivers bacon cheeseburger. Well fuck me this night escalated quickly.
Who am I kidding? With my track record, I'm going to end up sleeping at the strip club with just nipple tassels on.
Sometimes I look at dogs and just thing about how it's weird we both came from wolves
Lay off the drugs kid
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
Ps can u get with my cousin? He's a freshman at uconn and he's very attractive but like were related....
Randomize
