this is two weekends in a row I've been the pantsless girl at the party. I love my social life.
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
how much land on farmville do you have now? i sold all my shit to make room i need more money... these animals need to know I'm running a business not a charity.
Turning 21 on Saint Patty's day. I like to think this is what my alcoholic ancestors have prepared me for
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
only you would end up drunk at a subway with a one-eyed homeless man
In case you come back to the room and i'm not here, yes there's a cup filled with gravy in the microwave. Just take it out if you need to heat something.
So coach him. No guy wants to admit being unsure of something in bed. It's a man-law or something.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
Stop making fun of my hookups!
Stop getting hookups that I can make fun of!
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
I just hit 3 trees and a golf cart.. all on the same hole
Put me down for a bogey
Randomize
