She uses empty wine bottles as book ends. 2 on each side. At least 8 shelves.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
As one final fuck you to the courthouse i'm paying the rest of this ticket with sacajawea coins.
That's the point of day drinking, get fucked up by 6pm so you can get stuff done the next day. It's the adult thing to do.
lol i'm looking through my photos and there's this giant section of just dudes wearing murses
Dating Detox Day 5: had to go out and buy new batteries. this may be harder than I thought
I could go for watching some naked price is right. Looks like a good time to me.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
How high is the bridge and how deep is the water and what are the chances I will get arrested
How does she have a hairless cat and a husband it's not fair. Both are hard to come by
You know, I think I'm going to rock the shit out of this whole mid-twenties thing. Fuck babies and weddings -- I have vodka and young cock.
I was laying out of the open window, talking with him on the phone, while we were both puking at the same time.. Guys at the party called it "true love"..
You have all semester to unpack your car, quarter jello shots only last until 10.
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
Randomize
