i am sorry to ask, but i need y0ur honest opinion . when i turn sideways to someone, does my nose stick out like a beak ?
I'm so fucking pissed that I wasted my shooting star wish on him and his little penis.
been home a week and haven't blacked out yet. i miss college
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
For public speaking we have to bring an object that describes us to class. Can't decide if I wanna bring a flask or a shot glass.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Just walked in on him banging another girl. He told me " sorry but I'm gonna finish now that I'm caught" ...... I think this is the reason god gave me four older brothers....
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
She shows up drunk at 3am for sex and then punches me straight in the eye in the middle of it because "you're too nice."
Don't try to sleep with work colleagues because he won't be able to get it up and you won't be able to look him in the eye ever again
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I feel like my liver should be on crutches right now
you asked me how to turn on the ladder
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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