I just saw my grandmother naked. again. this needs to stop now.
just witnessed some guy trade his friend $5 and a condom for his keys.
Its what im here for. Critiquing penis photos.
What's the appropriate way to phrase "If you ever leave your wife give me a call. But we can still have sex periodically until then."??
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
This guy just told me he wanted to bathe in bong water with me and then tried to lick my nipple through my bra. This could be love.
Lost my virginity in a banana suit. Glad I waited.
I love you like a cupcake loves an overweight child, very similar to the mannerisms of a whole cake but personal, and minus the commitment issues, plus just the right amount of icing; not to mention the convenience of mobility, and only a smidgen of the guilt😘
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You better be making out with him cause we're sitting here with this awkward british girl watching videos of goats singing maroon five
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
This weekend I turned down sex to watch the Star Wars marathon... Is this growing up?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
wait i saw you last night?
we found you ass naked on the couch covered in pillows.
So there i was right, midnight, washing my junk off in my bathroom sink.
Randomize
