i threw up on the blunt... he was pissed.
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Using his name makes it all too personal. I refuse to get attached to this one. This is all about ass. He doesn't get a name.
sometimes after I smoke and the high has gone away...the high will come back like three hours later for a brief yet gripping ride.
that's usually when I end up in someone's house, having sex with someone else, while that someone's roommate makes us mozzarella sticks.
Remember when I got my car stuck in my backyard?
You were on shrooms and "the trees are crazy green!" is all you could manage.
Totally. Bang on. He'll be fine. He might cry into your perfect tits once in a while, but that's the price ya pay.
That feeling when you're ready to convert to the religion of whatever god will stop the vomit. Dynamite is illegal.
I've counted four places at work I need to get laid in. Come help me accomplish this.
Hey, I'm your guy
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
anyways, do you want to make more embarrassing memories that im bound to remind you about later and laugh about?
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
The guy i took home was a circus freak. He jerked off 3 times in front me after we had sex. And he came every time.
Randomize
