i just realized how high i was when i was screaming red light challenge at the top of my lungs and am watching it alone
He literally had no idea who I was, so he made me turn around 360 degrees and when he saw my ass, he blurted out my first AND last name.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Put you drinking hat aside for Tuesday. My buddy is bartending!
I just puked in my drinking hat.
He got me coffee AND filled up my gas tank. He must've fucked another girl in my car..
So somebody asked her is she's okay.She turned around,started running and screamed "Ballet is running through my veins" before doing a small pirouette.It's amazing how she managed not to fall.
She pretty much spent NYE measuring dicks, trying to decide which one to take home.
I didn't want to hook up with him so I just jumped out of bed, yelled "I don't even believe in god!" and ran out of the room
Didn't know where your dishes went. Put em in the bathtub. They're stacked taller than you. It's like modern art.
Before getting out of the car, she said "Thanks for getting me off." I like how polite she is.
Shhhh less advice, more soothing words and dirty phrases
I just want him to go down on me while I eat a burger. Is that too much to ask?
Never. No amount of alcohol could convince my brain and eye sight that it is okay to fuck him. I'd rather fuck my cousin.
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Consume your own penis you ugly freak.
Randomize
