Nevermine. I'm just going to tell you on Myspace with a glitter graphic.
This is the 4 year anniversary of the last time I shit my pants. Let's get drunk...
why is my clorox wipe dispenser full of tortillas?
Something smells like weed and I think it might be my mascara. Come sniff my eyes
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
I smell like Captain Morgan and tears
I had to rush to my room and get my vibrator off my bed i didn't want him to know how long it's been since I had a decent fuck.
FUCK BUDDYS DON'T HOLD HANDS. NO EXCEPTIONS.
I think they were making kool-aid in my bed. There is lots of sugar and my hands and face are stained blue.
I am both excited and frightened by the fact that this much everclear is legal here. Best vacation ever.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
We got really high and he took a green marker and made my vagina into a Christmas tree.
Well, he was my lawyer and now we get drunk and hook up.
That explains the way he looks at you.
We're meant to be. Apparently God wants me to get dicked down pretty good too so I'm not complaining about destiny
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