i need you to babysit me first week back at school. havent had tequila, adderal, or sex w randoms in 3 months
I mean if she was naked in my room I would talk to her
No, "because my penis told me to" is not an acceptable answer to that question
Remember when you tried to pay that stripper to cry on stage?
there is no amount of schooling that prepares you for when your morbidly obese 45 year old patient tells you she has her clit pierced.
They should have to wear some identification that warns you to stay away. Like one of those cones dogs wear to keep them from biting stitches. CONE OF SHAME.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
Life Epiphany- I need to have children so I can be the drunk grandma at family functions. Its my destiny.
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
i have achieved a new state of being which requires no food or water but is sustained only by coffee and pure, unrelenting rage
Do you ever get high and look at your cat and feel like you know them on an intellectual level?
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
Pretty sure keeping my vibrator in the same drawer with the weed makes it work better. I fall asleep almost immedi
I may or may not have puked near a bear on the side of the road this morning.
I’m on my third beer doing poppers in the shower to no doubt
Randomize
