I drowning out her crying with songs from the Beatles it's good for us both. She relives her 30s and i dont have to hear her cry
I mean, it's free alcohol, to turn it down would be a crime against humanity.
Pretty much knew it was gonna be awful when the extra condoms she had from her ex were entirely too big for my dick
We've done the math and the dogs tails are wagging at a rate of 3000 wags per hour. Stoned.
in fingerprint form on my ass. Seriously not cool. \ni bruiiiseeee like a delicate fruiiiitttt. Heeeaaarrr the rythymmm
Does anyone know why "math wizard" is written on my arm?
Im still alive. Just can't talk. Or move. No need to worry
I'm just gonna pretend you didn't ask me that. I'll sweep that shattered moment of our friendship under the shame rug.
After everything you did, you followed it with "Oh God, that's something a high person would do. But I'm not high." So yeah, you're not getting near my stash again.
I spent 10 minutes contemplating condensation on grapes this morning.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
Come get your pancakes and take a nap in my boobs.
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
There are no winners in a lube eating competition.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
Randomize
