i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Nice. Don't spend your therapist's co-pay on Jaeger bombs.
I dont know but I had two different hospital bands and half a pie when i woke up.
I just finished packing for spring break, took me 4 minutes. To be fair though I only put my trunks, a pair of underwear, and 50 condoms in my bag.
Well we were going to compare notes, but all I could remember was throwing up, and all she could remember was kissing, so then we decided to not compare anything.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
You went to the animal party as a hoodrat. You won the most creative costume contest.
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Philosophical question for you: is it better to go into work slightly drunk or slightly coked out?
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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