she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
i sneezed during and he said it felt like i gave birth to his dick...then asked me to do it again.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Never again will we have slut saturday. Never.
My ex came to my place while I was gone. Random things he took: snow shoes, my laundry quarters, a decorative picture, all my condiments, the container that held my rice and a sticker off my wallet. Then left a note saying he watered my plants and fed my cats. What. The. Fuck.
I just saw a wasted dude crawl out of the road at 2 in the afternoon. Big question- still drunk from the weekend or hitting the soju already?
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
our next stoner-chievment: cream of shroom soup. Get over here, this is happening!
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I fell in the river last night. The allegheny to be exact. Omg getting drunk at work gatherings is dangerous
I don't know how it happened. All I did was tell her I was impressed by her presentation. Her nail marks on my back ain't going away anytime soon.
His buddy came running in the room after we had sex, and started "sponging" the sweat off my forehead with his sport wristband.
I’m traumatised. Bring vodka and condoms.
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