I think your x's eyes are broken his new girl is so hit
i just spent the last half hour thinking about my totally irrational and intense hatred of wedge flip flops.
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
just dropped my bong into 7 pieces, and carried the glass shards around my house. dad saw the blood dripping down my arms, and asked if i slit my wrists. way too high to laugh at this.
could you clean the juice and feathers off my bed I'm just not up for hangover cleaning.
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
He just fingered me to the Lion King soundtrack. And when he left he turned dramatically and said "I'll be back after work. Be prepared." Taint ALL the childhood memories.
I'm at the point where I'm gonna write in my mothers bday card. Happy birthday. Please stop having sex with the door open.
When i said i was brazilian i swear to god he started to tear up
you made out with another girl for some wings
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
You know it's a bad cold when sneezing feels better than orgasming...
i had to call him over, it was my last chance at getting some tonight
HE HAS A RESTRAINING ORDER AGAINST U!!!
it expires tomorrow
Randomize
