You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
My patience ran out after you started clapping at the strippers everytime they took off a piece of clothing.
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Our dealer is pledging my frat. When he come to sell me weed I make him take out the garbage.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
On my way back to his place to see his "art". Why am I sure this is going to be nothing more than his dick in a box?
My roommate says its rare that you can be tear gassed before you lose your virginity so i feel accomplished in life
Well im sitting on a futon on a porch at 1:30 in the afternoon drinking boxed wine out of a pint glass next to a chick with a homemade neckbrace. What do you think?
I need to establish a pattern of dominance early.... I'm like a slutty Cesar Milan
On the plus side, I know I'm allergic to latex now. Like really fucking allergic
omg so there's this guy on the roof and he just stripped for no reason and now i think he's making out on the rooftop with some other guy? who are these people
Randomize
