You made me cry and you don't even care
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
it was one of those movies netflix should have sent weed with
I should start riding the bus again so I can drink all day
It looks like sephora exploded on his dick, so i assumed I was the second girl that gave him head that night.
I had 5 long islands and 2 alien brain hemorrhages…I am entirely certain that the "power hour to finish the night" idea was just too much.
I'm shotgunning a 12 pack at a bus stop. This is why we pay the rent with an auto withdrawal at the beginning of the month
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
Also...I'm semi-dating the drug dealer that took me to bible study
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I wish I had a Tina from Bob's Burgers in real life. She would be the best wingman.
One day, I might be old and married wishing I could bang everyone... and that'll be a problem. So I feel in my heart it's something I need to do.
he said he only had one rule...that he'd only go down on me 3x a day. so far this is turning into the best relationship ever.
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