whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
She's just bitter because she lost all the weight only to discover she doesn't have a pretty face after all.
I'm praying to Jesus, Allah, Buddah,and the whole gang tonight that I'm not pregnant
she had a pic of herself in a bikini as the wallpaper on her iPhone... I'm sensing a Tyra banks kinda girl. shit.
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
Legitimately semi-blackout across the table from the governor off a chardonnay i can't even pronounce.
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
I just came so hard my hamstring felt like it was going to tear. I am also now a screamer
Dude of course I want to. Your penis is beautiful.
I think I just pulled an onion peel off my boob from sleeping on their kitchen floor
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
Coming straight to your house after the flight. If not in Federal Prison for disobeying peanut laws.
I brought her cheeseburgers and tequila but she's still mad at me.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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