I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
so apparently we got drunk enough at the reception to rip the center pieces apart and use the flower vases as "fancy glasses"
airport. 106 proof japanese liquor. 4 little travel size containers. im proud to be smarter than the average american.
He kept saying 'your mouth is Amazing' even after I was on his dick.
just walked into the study room and found an empty bottle of vodka and a passed out freshman. Did you have anything to do with this?
Whiskey dick is like insurance for making bad decisions
I just gave myself a sponge bath with your sock. I hope you don't mind.
You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
You blew him?!?!
*Am blowing
And I keep taking breaks to write you back, please stop replying.
Pretty sure at some point last night i said to myself "it'll be fun to completely lose my mind for a night"
Today is going to be a great day. He just brought me a donut on his dick... It's Sticky Dick Donut Day!!!
You're up at 3AM, right? I have a very important question.
You know the Wendy's on route 6, by Kohls? Do you know if it has a drive through?
Yes it does.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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