i do not condone bathtub ky wrestling
I wanna tell red shirt guy I'm pregnant and use the abortion money for Coachella.
He corrected me on my grammar when I came. Fuck English majors.
Guy in our group took down a chick in a wheelchair last night.
She's either too fat to type, hammered or has terrible spelling.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
I am just pathetic enough to be sitting on the couch with my cat drinking absinthe and vodka watching moulin rouge. Hello, tuesday night.
I think my body is literally trying to get me to reproduce. "fuck someone! Anyone!" - my body
Nothing ends a night of heavy drinking better than banging to three six mafia in your own driveway
You always seem to be able to bribe me with tequila and Mac and cheese. This relationship of ours will cause me health problems someday.
Damn you and your marathon penis with its superhuman capabilities
lost her for two hours. she was banging a russian guy in her car in the parking lot. he told her she was majestic.
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
If more people understood that brunch is at 3pm the world would be a better place because you don't have to wake up early. Breakfast food is important
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
