i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
me and ur bf were arguing about whether coke was vegan. i really hope it's vegan
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I'm 90% sure a girl here is wearing a bra strap as a headband.
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
I think when she wakes up, she'll either kill me, or laugh. I hope she laughs.
I'm pretty sure he told me he was sterile and I told him I was on the pill. The positive pregnancy test I'm holding in my hand right now tells me that at least one of us was lying.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Walking into the first day of college is like walking into a meat market. A meat market of sex.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
My vagina was just really confused why you weren't inside it
i just got drunk and created an entire Dr Seuss unit for my first graders.
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
Hey, do you know the person who woke me up last night at 1 in the morning yelling and being carried through the courtyard?
That was me Mom...
i think i left you like a 5 minute message about the mcchicken burger i was eating. I think I called wanting sex but the mcchicken burger was a lot more seducing.
Randomize
