May or may not have just drunkenly opened my christmas presents. Greatly disappointed. Might break up sooner.
In Canada she would be a 10 but here in America she's only a 7
Haha im about to meet my shrink &i have so much shit to tell him i made an outline
entire chemistry final was about beer... i actually might miss this place
Good, she had spurs on her boots. That is a sign for instant herp attack.
When it gets to the point that I'm more comfortable being naked at his house than my own, it's time to readdress the fuckbuddyship.
Sometimes I stop and laugh and think "and these are my actual life choices".
it looks like my getting laid tonight is going to depend on my knowledge of native birds. this is a weird party
DO IT, or I'll send you pictures of my hickey to remind you of your loneliness
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Two run-ins with cops/park rangers tonight and now I'm just wandering around high and shirtless
Sacramento doesn't deserve you
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Dude i woke up today by a pile of fried chicken and wearing a bra
.......stop going to frat parties....
Randomize
