If you die in college, do you die in real life?
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
The more my room-mate speaks, the more I notice that she was home schooled.
I miss your penis. And I totally say this as a friend. I just miss it because it's great. You should be very proud of it.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
did i try to light ur hair on fire with a sparkler at the club saturday?
No. I'm just saying it shows no signs of stopping. My dad was a man-whore well into his 50s.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
We were simultaneously boning chicks 3 feet away from each other. Do you realize how much that upped our 15 year friendship?
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
How's the hangover?
I've been begging my dog to mercy kill me for over an hour. He has this look like he might do it, you know, as my best friend should.
I could probably be laying here naked and he'd still be more interested in this thunderstorm
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
the voting booth dude cock blocked me or she woulda totally blown me in the voting booth.
Randomize
