:)
Wipe that smile off your face.
you made me watch la bamba, and then you yelled at me for disrespecting your mexican heritage.
So I'm at planned parenthood and there are 5 people here from Friday's party.
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I'm calling it the Friendlationship with Benefits Zone.
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
the cops accepted 42 wallaby way Sydney. and the cops, and cab driver accepted the new address. please tell the win i am experiencing
theres too many punctuation errors in that text to turn me on.
You know the sex was good when he had to ask which way was north before he left.
Never in a million years thought I would have to put jello shot recipe/equation into an excel spreadsheet
You're too drunk for my bullshit, and i'm too sober to put up with yours. I have no idea how you expect to find middle ground here.
Just in case you forgot, you puked all over your boss house, pissed on his coffee table, and were then thrown out by his wife
hotelroom bed is big enough to masturbate in, but small enough to not want to sleep in it after you've masturbated in it
Turns out the grown up version of seeing your teacher shopping is seeing your therapist is on tinder
I just got fed by 3 guys. I love my job.
Randomize
