Judging by what's in the bathroom right now, I see you graced us with your presence last night.
I am the poster child for what not to do during sex. Soon they will be calling an undesired position after me
Hopefully. Play it cool. Bust out a few jokes. Chew with your mouth closed and show your boobs.
She's the barista slut.
this must be what syphilis tastes like
Just pull your dick out and wink at her, its a game changing play
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
There are twenty thousand men on this campus, please have sex with someone who isn't my drug dealer
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
Closed my eyes in the shower and got really dizzy. Not sure if neurological or result of 4 day vodka binge. Send help.
The night is not complete until I am drnk and speaking to inanimate objects
I also have bagel bites. I know that's not as big an incentive as the cocksucking but.....
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I feel like you're encouraging me to commit a felony.
I feel like you're wasting time.
Randomize
