I then asked the hardee's employee: mam, do you mind if i pay 75 cents in cash and then put the 1.13 on my debit card.
I like to use the word "seasoned" over "slutty", you know, like a good curly fry
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
Nailed a drunk college girl before the CU game Saturday, and a drunk married woman after the Broncos game Sunday.
Some perfection is debatable.
The best part is that he made someone stop their workout to take pictures of him, specifically so he could put them on facebook. That is an unparalleled level of douchebaggery.
You tried taking his shirt off at the bar. He was 37 and married with kids.
"can of pringles" is totally a legitimate measure of time
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Oh okay. That's fine. I'll buy us both dinner when you bail me out
It's a post jail date
I'm in the smoking section between a transvestite molly dealer and a group of juggalos. I shouldn't be that hard to find.
I'm doing the walk of shame into my therapists office wearing his clothes...I guess go big or go home
Hey I'm at the gym and I need your personal trainer help. Also can you send me that picture of me eating a sausage. I want to post it on instgram.
I'm fucking camped out by the bathrooms. I think the poopatrator is in there. Wtf is my life
Almost an end to the saga.
He had been licking my nipple for like 5 minutes and it wouldn't get hard. He asked me to lick my own and when I did, instant hardness. I realized I'd rather have sex with myself then this guy ..
I just made deviled eggs for everyone not passed out. Im officially becoming a drunk chef.
Randomize
