butt plug
anus plug
rubbish cock?
yes
you suck at this game today
hey, can i borrow that thing you never use?
what?
your penis
i just bought weed at the top of a mountain, best decision of our lives to go to school in colorado.
So what if i ate it off the ground. Its like i found a five dollar bill just laying there, in burrito form.
He's got serious oatmeal ass...take a moment and admire how google voice to text was able to detect oatmeal ass....twice
I've been living off of popsicles and broth.
posting about faith hill is really not helping you get me into your bed
No offense, I mean I'm sure you rocked my world and all but I don't remember.
You fell out of the chair and then lifted your foot saying, "If my foot could give you the middle finger it would."
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
Also I want everyone to be drunk at my funeral. Instead of wearing black just blackout. That way everyone can celebrate how fun I was
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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