OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
About tomorrow. if it dosent fit dont force it. Just pushit as far as you can and i'll wiggle the rest of the way
Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
When his Irish accent comes out my uterus hums. Or some productive organ down there, I'm not sure of the logistics
Climbing through a window thats four feet off the ground isnt the easiest thing when youre high, trust me.
i was enjoying my post acid trip trance a little too much. i found $50 on the sidewalk but didnt pick it up. just stared at the bill cuz it looked cool.
someone picked it up and i stared at the ground where it was for probably another minute or 2
Guess who just sucked off 1/5 of one direction?
I went from naked with lasts nights hookup to Ihop in 6 minutes flat
I think that's a new house record
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
I'm sitting on your porch drinking wine from the bottle. Just so your new neighbors know what kind of people are in the neighborhood
We ran out of toilet paper so Ive been using coffee filters
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
i woke up wearing a life jacket, holding on to a footlong hotdog, and had on a mr. hustle 1995 shirt on
good night
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
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