Highlight of my evening, pile of books falling onto me in front of people
you know what sucks? talking to chicks you dont want to have sex with
mowing the lawn. still drunk. If my dad doesn't appreciate this I swear I'm dissowning everyone including him
Ok, maybe I don't want to know what happened last night... But somehow I guess I moved the oven.
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Although I love the reason it was done, can you maybe not show pictures of my dick to all your friends at parties? I like to present my penis in my own special way. thanks
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
The thing is that despite the high paying career and the increased responsibility, my life hasn't changed that much. Only instead of blacking out on $2 wells at some dive I blackout on top shelf martinis in a suit. Oh and only on Fri & Sat nights. Being 30 doesn't suck as bad as everyone led me to believe.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
I drank toilet water last night, I can't answer you because my phone is in rice.
I should have listened to my dad and mean girls... If you have sex you'll get pregnant and die.
I mean I only got hit in the ass with ONE firework
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
Holy shit last night was like the irresponsible Olympics for me
i black out too much to be "responsible"
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