Yesterday I was informed there is a jewish dating website called jdate, I'm considering joining out of academic curiosity
I hope my future cuntsucker is that tight
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
dont worry, it'll just be a conversation starter like "why did you get that pierced?" or "wow, i got arrested there too"
drunk lawn darts. Let's test the homeowners policy
Her directions to the house party: "the north star will guide you, turn left. I'm wearing the potato hat"
Still can't believe they give people like us a drivers license and college degree.
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
You me handle of captain and a sorostitute study sesh, if we don't get laid mancards must be relinquished
We hit a deer while we were singing an acapella version of "I will always love you"
I just climbed out the passenger side of my car because there was a spider on mine. I'm doing adulthood right
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
I must be really high or they really did just bring me a banana split instead of a burger
Randomize
