I boned her and wore a Freddy mask once. It was pretty lol
How do 1 in 4 women misread a pregnancy test; how stupid are women?
I feel like I bought a front row ticket to watch her screw up her life
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
you goin out tonight?
who is this.
your orgasm for tonight
The rest of us are chipping in to soundproof your bedroom. This is getting ridiculous.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
But in fairness, I would totally have a robo-penis as long as it had full sensation.
didn't prepare for this snow storm at all. i only have like 6 beer and all my booty calls already went home for the holiday. this is bull.
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
We did it to 80's cardio music. Talk about a workout.
Besides, I'm booked tomorrow. I'm planning on drinking heavily and crying in the bath.
Wait... so you had sex and then your ear drum ruptured? I'm not sure if I want to ask if the two are related...
I miss you.
Yeah, I don't want to have sex.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
