that was after robitussin, alcohol, and chocolate sauce... but before we finished pregaming
Went to use to bathroom and walked in on karaoke. Two girls singing "a whole new world" to each other in the shower. I'm gonna miss this place in the summer
Dude turns out her best friend is lesbian...there is no wingman for this situation
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
I don't know if it's lucky or if it really just makes my tits look THAT good, but I've never NOT gotten laid with this bra on
Well I'm just gonna sit here naked in this chair and whatever happens happens
did mom hear me barking???
oooooh yeah. good luck explaining that one
sooo high. sooo many dog friends
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them
I'm taking a leave of absence and sending myself to fat camp. I'll let you know when I'm out.
I can't tell if I have the Pizza Hut shits or beer shits
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
Is 10AM too early for pizza and Dr. Pepper?
Only if 5PM is too early to be drunk. And when has that ever stopped us?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
My cat is sitting in the window watching the neighbor's dogs doing it. I think she's lonely too.
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