You can only be slapped by Eastern European waitresses so many times. I guess they don't want my huge cock in their iron curtain
i spent 15 mins trying to take money out of ATM with my drivers license saying, "what the fuckkkk" everytime it didnt work
Spaghetti and Car Bombs, good idea or what will end up on the bar in a few minutes?
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
They're calling for 20 inches of snow but I'll have a dirtbike for emergency trips to the liquor store. Even if I crash it won't hurt.
I think he just made me trade sex for my cat.
I don't know how or when he is sober long enough to donate plasma
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
The last person that asked me out got pushed down an escalator
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
We moved the bed and she found my vibrator. The entire ride home was a montage of her singing "Are You Lonesome Tonight"
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
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