sooooo how many boyfriends is too many?
I am watching the symphony and have decided that violin players probably give really good hand jobs.
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
I just threw up over a bridge. I didn't even know there was a bridge in this town. Vodka is like a transportation device.
We boned on a bench in a park, french people were walking by cheering us on. Totally acceptable
It is no longer St. Patrick's Day. I should NOT still have green boobs!
Dude, I'm pretty sure I slept with my TA's girlfriend
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
He must have found my secret supply of blow and took a bump before we left the house. Rude.
He could of at least asked
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
You know youre getting old when you I.D. the person trying to take you home to be sure they're over 25. Help me.
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
I’m not dating him for his personality. I’m dating him so I can steal his dog.
I STUDIED GEOGRAPHY I KNOW THIS SHIT!! DON'T YOU DARE QUESTION MY AUTHORITY ON GLACIAL DEPOSITION AGAIN BITCH!!
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