He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Why is there a shirtless guy in Walgreens and why is he probably looking for the same thing I am?
it's like i can feel the ghost of his dick still inside me
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Her vagina smelt so bad I lied and told her that I was married just so that she would leave.
Besides asking our teacher if he enjoyed being fisted did I have any other tragic moments last night?
It's hard being an adult. And by that I mean it's hard to tell the boy you like who rejected you that you can't share a room with him at white party because you don't want to see him bang other boys.
I also think about what hot dudes penises are gonna look like when theyre 80 and it's not pretty
AT THIS RATE YOU WILL HAVE FUCKED MORE OF MY CLOSE FRIENDS THAN I HAVE PEOPLE PERIOD BY VALENTINE'S DAY.
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
I just saw a guy in a hazmat suit riding a tractor.
I may have taken the entire adderall. I FEEL LIKE THE FUCKIN HULK. I can't stop cleaning and organizing and doing the clean things
Sooo, my mother is snoring, my ex is sexting me, the guy I'm having an affair with is sending me dick pics, and all I want to do is sleep!
Like sorry your dick won’t suck itself?
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