I was staring at you from my window across the quad. I wanted to let you know so it's not creepy
I just made a friends list on fb of all the guys ive hooked up with. genius.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
All I remember was endless tequila and pulling karate moves from 3 Ninjas Kick Back towards the guy at 7 Eleven. Explanation?
I kinda wanna eat your hands right now.
Put down the everclear and go to bed.
Stripper with the black hair and lip rings is still asleep. Found out she wasn't lying when she said she was a squirter, it was like splash mountain.
I walked in and all four of you were covering your heads under the blanket singing waterslides in unison.
Hey I know you're not home, but I'm here. Your front door is unlocked and someone took shit on your doormat...
i dont remember how or why, but i now have 3 coupons for a free BJ from Anise stapled to my right arm.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
you can't just say no to brian. he was bugging me to get me to drunk for 14 hours straight yesterday. HE DOESN'T GIVE UP
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
Gay?
German.
Pity.
I'm still depressed that I forgot my ice cream at your place
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