Racial profiling caused me to miss two cabs but the third cabs the charm - he's playing Jesus Music
I just did something awful... i just had to tell someone... i just used my brothers electric face cleaner as a vibrator
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
you kept going on about how you couldnt haven been the one throwing up because you were peeing in circles.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Just a heads up before you get home. Took the shelves out of the fridge so i could fit the beer ball and bucket of riot punch. Apparently i decided the stove was the best place to keep them. They got cooked when we pre heated to cook a bird we shot. This may be the final straw for our security deposit
ps I'm eating candy off our sex sheets. gotta say the only thing better than sweet tarts is sweet tarts with a hint of sex. perfect post vday situation
I once puked on the side of the hwy driving home and it somehow made me feel more Canadian. So don't rule it out
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
One of those days. Also, your pants are now in my protective custody.
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
I never thought I'd end up with a prison pen pal through tinder
Like bruh, I’m a free range girlfriend
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