I texted him to clear the air a bit, apologized if I freaked him out. No reply. So I'm gonna go ahead and fuck someone in a barn tonight.
Im too awkward for one night stands. I need to hire someone to come clear them out of my bed before I wake up.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
My cousin had a baby so we have to look at it. Apparently the event is byob
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
you should have seen it. it was just a bunch of guys in togas chanting the username and password to a brazzers account we all share. best thing that has happened to our group
I'm drinking your booze since you ate my pop-tarts. I'm telling you this because I still don't think it's a fair trade.
Do you remember ripping my condom off last night while yelling "I DEMAND MY MEAT RAW" like a Viking?
Low key that was incredibly dangerous to let me wield a sword at this point in the night
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
I think it may be easier if I stay drunk/high til the wedding. You game?
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
You almost lost your european virginity to a Peruvian man waering a do-rag in a port-a-potty.
Randomize
