booty call
i swear to god if you come over i will kick you in the pussy.
If Jon and Kate can get divorced...how hard can it be for me?
It is 8 o'clock in the morning and there is already blood all over one of the stalls in the bathroom. What has your St. Patrick's day done for you?
Definitely got drunk and sent her a literal picture of my asshole. I titled it " you"
she has double-d's AND she knows what level Pidgeot evolves. don't tell me she's not a keeper
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
He blew a .19 and then slurred "well I did have some rum cake earlier today officer".
I have a completly random but serious question. Can I make a paper mache mold of you ass and turn it into a pinata filled with airplane bottles of liquor? Its for my art class
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
why would you automatically assume i'm high...
you just told me you're eating the powder of a lemonade mix.
Revised rule: don't put your dick in the general vacinity of mental instability.
Not even dry humping. Not even a little bit.
He insists on falling asleep with his penis between my buttcheeks. He says its his "home".
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
I was floored. Like way less concerned with him using drugs than I am with him not believing in evolution.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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