I just spit my fake tooth out at a customer. I think he thought it was my bubble gum though so it's ok.
she broke up with me using backstreet boy lyrics
you deserved it if you knew it was backstreet boys.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
So my ex just cheated on her current bf w/me and now there's a car coming to take me to Vegas... Is this really my Thursday night?
I hate you.
You came back with four clearly unattractive women and wanted to throw a dance party in my room.
That's what you get for fucking someone nicknamed "wiggle worm"
Listen, it's not like I meant to bust the window out. It just sort of happened. And I'm also sorry for stealing your dads bandanas.
Duuuude - Drag Queen Bingo wasn't supposed to end like thissss
Damn why is there no horse blowjob emoji?
well a fat roach just fell out of my hair. so there's that
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
And then my night got REAL pukey
How did you interpret 'wheat thins' from 'vaginal trauma'?
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
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