I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
we ate a 40 pack of string cheese and watched an entire washing machine cycle.
just used clorox wipes to give myself a whores bath. hello finals week
I realized I'm gonna have to fit cheating on my gf, sleeping with my gf and having dinner with her parents all into one Sunday evening
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
And after peeing my pants waiting outside for him, i proceeded to drop down and roll in the nearest puddle to pretend like i just ate shit when he arrived
Please write a memoir and name it "Game Boy and Dick Stuff"
These past few weeks have been a lesson on why you don't put your penis inside girls who live in your building.
OK, but next time I'd like to be present for our make-up sex.
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
I can't believe I got dumped for a fat chick, but at least I got four and a half years worth of free shit. So we can call it even.
You go to class with the flu but don't go when it rains... Get your shit together
Are these your boobs on my camera?
You've had it in your mouth, how have you not seen it?
Randomize
