You're never going to guess who I just worked out next to..
Who?
Chris brown
No way... I bet he was intense
Are you kidding? He was prob training for round two
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I am SOOO high
tell me about your high
HUGE THUMBTACKS
i dont know why he would complain when i touch him there.
I can't believe i facilitated a beer for sweater vest deal last night...
he said something along the lines of "fish can smell fear"
I tried to talk to him, but he didn't recognize me at first. I had to show him the top of my head and then he remembered.
I swear to god, my hangover cure is a green tea and a 15 minute twerkout. works every time
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
Hella random but just hear me out...A bar that is a petting zoo. Bitches love petting zoos.
My neighbors are white girl rapping to Hamilton again...
I was legit late to work one day Bc it took me so long to get a good nude
I got subtly pornographic with a lollipop while we were talking and he got flustered and started to blush. If he’s not interested after that I need to turn in my vagina card.
Randomize