They use the phrase "final warning" so often the words have lost all meaning.
home. puking in laundry basket.
He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
So apparently after he gets hammered, falls down a set of stairs and gets a concussion, he can still come home and find a way to play his guitar solo bullshit as loud as possible while i seduce my date...
He needs to realize that there's a big difference between "I love you" and "I love your dick"
I'm not gonna lie. having my legs shaved for me in the morning was a lovely surprise.
The good news is I managed to avoid the three cop car looking for me. The bad news is I no longer have shoes.
RA chick in a Christmas onsie chased us up 5 flights of stairs. I need to stop violating guest policy
I'm in a bed full of sand, and also just took my contacts out. Whatever happened yesterday was great, I think.
Once you mention butt plugs, conversations always take a turn for the worst.
I'm using her Instagram as a way to know where in town she is so I can avoid her lol
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
Totally reading about penis envy for my final exam
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize
