I just spent the night with a bunch of indian guys and i wasn't attracted to a single one. Yeah i've officially become an anti-indian indian.
i wiped a booger on my final. end of semester present.
There are no words to adequately express my gratitude for sending me porn you found staring a former classmate.
Is it obsessive that I keep picking my crazy sex rug burn scab so it leaves a scar I can remember him by?
Ohh man. That was a snatch-waxer with a score to settle.
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
I fell asleep on the floor again. i dont want help, just a pillow. its kind of nice down here.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
I got you a "sorry you think I'm pregnant" present
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
I'm smoking in a kimono on the couch. Bring me gin.
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
He set the tone in the back of his car by blasting Marvin Gaye's sexual healing before railing me
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
Randomize
