let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
I wish they had a "No Yankees" filter on status updates.
I just found a bagel and a condom in my coat pocket. I love blackouts
well seeing as i got a call at 5 am from the hotel manager telling me my cousin was passed out on the lobby floor...not good
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
Haha o man how much you've grown. From beer bonging wine and wearing cargo shorts to well, beer bonging beer and wearing cargo shorts
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
If you feel like laying around and watching a movie, that's where I'll be for the next several hours not moving, blaming others, and generally feeling sorry for myself.
If she doesn't judge me for bringing my vibrator in the tanning bed, I know she is a true friend.
I mean you can't really blame him. He's named after whiskey and I don't get along with pants.
Get here, there are important joints to be smoked and pies to be eaten
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
I just had to go dumpster diving, at 3am, in the rain, because I realized that I somehow threw away the brand new package of birth control pills I picked up from the pharmacy this afternoon. So I'm sort of a responsible adult.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Oh don't mind my cushion, I got plowed in the ass by a freight train last night
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