There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
I don't think brook has ever known best
I just found out I have a small penis.
Couldn't you tell by how you've NEVER had a girlfriend?
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
I love him. He's like the father I never had that I kind of want to fuck.
i'm sitting pantsless eating potato chips and watching porn before he picks me up for our date. I hope he's ready for this...
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
You're gonna judge me.
Howd you sleep with him already
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
Dude the little bong I just got fits nicely in the cup holder in my car. The gods approve of my habits.
I think I just figured out how to make weed tea in the coffeemaker.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
Just took an Adderall with Pedialyte so I think that's a valid answer to "how are you doing"
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