i only hope i can top last weeks sext session
dude i woke up laying next to some guy. i dont have my bra or his name. he has a nice tv though.
Note to self: soco dudes get amusinly uncomfotable when I moan at the urinal.
Spider just rapelled from her vag rethinking online dating.
found: crazy homeless guy quoting Quagmire lines to every chick he sees. i think i win the scavenger hunt.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
The way I see it, if i don't fail the midterm and blow off some of the projects, how else am I going to get motivated to study for the final ?
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
Why the fuck is there a goat in the kitchen
Pinterest knows I’m getting divorced
The night took a wrong turn after I found you smoking a blunt with a midget behind the bar...
I'm not gonna plow a chick in front of her 14 year old brother....
Never go to your parents' super bowl party. I learned, in great detail, "Why Aunt Trisha is a hoe" Not enough beer on the eastern seaboard.
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