im surounded by vag. Like smog aound LA, i am suffocating in an atmosphere of pussy
Apparently they want to see what I've been working on for the last three months. Can I just hand them a bunch of empty fifths?
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
You bet me 100 dollars that the Raiders would win the super bowl this year. I have it on tape.
Did you know even strippers have to have GED's these days??
Come 10 years my vagina won't look like this. I must cherish it
Haha he acted like he's never seen a tampon catapolt across the hall before
Just got off the phone with poison control. They're more concerned about our alcohol intake than that the beer bong was last cleaned with pine sol.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
If the blowjob was before the wedding, we're not technically related, right?
There's a very real possibility that I'll wake up in your uncle's driveway.
Was there a Canadian at your party or did I dream that?
he told me to take care of him and then he asked me to walk him to his hotel. I already have a pussy. I don't need another one
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
THEY WILL NOT STOP FLINGING CARDS AROUND THE ROOM! It has been four hours. HOW CAN IT STILL BE ENTERTAINING?!?! I will be under the table if you need me.
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