no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
For sure. We should see if we can get Mike to pay for one, and have a triple kegger... :o==& (that's future me projectile vomiting. i try to be goal oriented)
Between cock and motorcycle I'm glad I don't have to sit at work tomorrow
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
Oh my god it's like Minesweeper. I can tell there's sex in three of the four rooms, but which one is the safe one?
THEY ARE MY AGE. THEY ARE YOUR LITTLE SISTER'S AGE THIS IS A DELICATE MATTER. CAPS LOCK
Oh and I found some acid for the drive back to school, productive day
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I say we start a new tradition. I came up with it all by myself. It's called work out, lay out, black out
It's amazing to think about how many Obama victory sex babies are being prevented by Obamacare free contraception.
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Your face; I've seen enough of it for today. Go away now please.
She was going down on me before I had a chance to tell her I arrested her brother 3 hours earlier
Randomize
