I can already tell this is gonna be one of those parties where we sit across the room and text about people.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
That reminds me...we need to get swords
now that we've slept with the entire soccer team i think its time to expand the horizon.
I have my ice chest next to my bed. Instead of breakfast in bed, its beers in bed. 10x better
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
remember how i yelled at you for inviting that coke dealer to the party?! i found the $100 bill they were snorting with in the couch.
..new slutty dresses or booze? i won't even waste time with the i told you so.
dont eat that thats our sex nutella.
Hey where the fuck is the rest of my beer? Lets start this day off right
He poured champagne on my pussy while he ate me out. I found my unicorn.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
what color bed sheets say meditative warrior but also welcome to my sex dungeon...
navy blue
The fact that you have an answer to that is why we are friends...
Randomize
