There is a mermaid on oprah and she looks nothin like ariel
when a girl feels in her heart, the way she feels in her vagina, anything is possible.
Just found out I reached my $2500 deductible and I have a $5 million dollar cap on my health insurance. Let's get drunk and do something recklessly stupid tonight.
Apparently I was pointing at birds and yelling "YOU USED TO BE A DINOSAUR!!!"
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
I seriously told a stripper I would hold her hand when she goes to get ass implants.
Stand up sex. Extremely, extremely difficult. I now know how pointe dancers feel.
Well on a lighter note, I had sex in a food truck.
i have my bailey's and coffee which lasts me until lunch, at which time its appropriate for me to bring a vodka and OJ mix for the afternoon. This university thing is grrreat
Do you think it would be a margarita if you just out tequila in a sonic slush?
u kept repeating to itself "hot cheetos and nacho cheese sauce.."
You came out of your room naked under your open robe with a mouth full of brownie on a stick and grabbed a fistful of fruit loops and shoved them into your already full mouth.
Wait... why were you finger painting at one in the morning?
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
Totally just got spotted hitting the bowl by someone else hitting a bowl. We gave each other a head nod
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