We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
i told her that i loved her pillow breasts and then she asked me if i wanted to motor boat them. so yea, i do need the room tonite.
so i wake up and the chick who i had sex last night left her phone number. next to the number was a broken condom. should i call?
Why am I in a dog kennel?
It was for your own safety
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
i figure now that we're number one party school im obligated to black out at least 4 days a week. andddd go.
it's 10:36pm. Do you know where your penis should be?
Fuck I am starving. I don't think I've eaten in the past two days.
You didnt need to. Gin is like eggs, its a perfectly nutrionally balanced meal.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
You're an independent woman who is defined by her own actions and not by whether or not you have a man. You also have great tits.
pretty sure I woke up to him jacking himself off IN MY BED
I had the choice between 9 burritos and 1 girl...
And...?
Eh, I don't question what my penis likes. It just does what it does.
Randomize
