its easy. just sleep with a bunch of guys until one falls in love
Farmville is her only friend.
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
the last thing i remember is inserting the sippy stray into the jack daniel's.
I swear I only do things like fuck 19 yr olds just to hear how you laugh when I tell you.
Def regretting not writing "will blow for extra credit" on my last final
just cheers'ed a flock of cattle as i drove past eating a burger i bought 7 hours ago. that high.
I was standing when I hit it. I barely made it to the couch before the walls started turning into people.
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
Omg how many tall cans is too many tall cans for 1 pm
You can't just walk around stealing hats from drunk boys and peeing in bathtubs. Turn down.
No. You don't want this. When I threw up last night, it was so intense I went blind for about 3 seconds.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
I share a birthday weekend with Easter this year, so that fucking sucks. I hate sharing...and I have to share with fucking Jesus this year.\n
Randomize