I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I feel like tequila is Gods way of lighting my fuse to do something awesome
And now that i don't feel so bad because you're not pregnant the $15 for the pregnancy test I bought would be appreciated
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
you finished all 5 burgers, started crying tears of joy, and then claimed the tears were actually just 'meat sweats' from your eyes
just realized we made a drinking game to how many times they say "hakuna matata" in the lion king last night... hello sophomore year.
we woke up to him feeding us cheetos at 3am. and by feeding i mean shoving them in our mouths and saying "i mean who doesn't like cheetos"
If you don't sing me a lullaby then I'll just take shots till I pass out
I am going to tweet NASA until they put me into space
Those rocketship riding assholes need the common man
I know you're having some issues right now but can we focus on the gangbang?
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
He ate me out for an eternity. Like fell asleep, woke up, and he was still doing it.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
My boss couldn’t find her phone so she asked me to call it and when I found it the screen said Fuck Toy was calling. I’m very much okay with this
Randomize
