I've decided that I only have enough money to either eat or drink over the next month. I'm sure you know what choice I've made.
Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
he made me salute his american flag boxers before i took them off
Exactly. I don't do penetration on the first date. Blowjobs however are perfectly acceptable.
I encourage the greeting beej. It determines if the dick is worth keeping around.
It's like trying to pry an octopus off you. Except the octopus speaks English and can get drunk.
I am actually insulted by the long string of ugly, fat girls he hooked up with after me.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
We just reached that moment of the night when you start making cookie quesadillas. Party on Wayne
You have like just as much sex as me and I have a brand new bf. That does not add up. That is not right.
My vagina is screaming your name . Wtf did you do to it
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
I dont need your sympathy!!!! Just a fifth of vodka and gummy bears...lots and lots of gummy bears to take my agression out on.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
They say you need two forms of ID, but in reality 1 nice set of tits works every time
I don’t know how you celebrated 4/20 but I set a Payless trash can on fire
Randomize
