just found out there is no tactful way to ask your girlfriend to wax her stache. no matter what a google search would have you believe.
Yeah i'm definitely friends with drunk kyle, not sober kyle.
he made a joke about you fucking his daughter...i think youre golden
Using 'equal to a modern day cock block" in term paper, inappropriate
I'm too afraid that I'm 1. Banned or 2. Gonna be noticed by the lady bouncer I punched.
I dont know if you relize this but ive been high ly medicated in my room for a whil now. GOing out into the real world would make me li ke tom ha nks. im not ready to be tom hanks..
I bet George Washington got SERIOUS head back in his hay day.
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Passing out drunk in my therapists lobby may not be the best way to confirm my "stability"
I'm literally rolling on acid for the first time during Thanksgiving. Help me.
I ate 1200 calories worth of chocolate covered marshmallows and googled why it is okay to be single forever
I ate so much cake that I can't even enjoy a blowjob
That's the most first world problem I've ever heard in my life.
Just called to hear your voice and talk about pizza.
The last thing I remember saying was "Tequila for all!!"
If you count the sounds from the room down the hall....that was definitely NOT the last thing that came out of your mouth.
Dude, my back STILL hurts from carrying the team on BP last night.
Randomize
