I'm calling you out on twitter if you don't come over right now.
Great date with Damon, but I'm not sure if telling him I like lesbian porn is a good second date discussion.
So I used to make fun of texas a lot, then I got here and I found a place where I could get my tequila in a to go cup with a straw and I realized that this is the only place I ever want to be
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Of course he got arrested. He was wearing a toga. Even Tom Hanks couldn't act sober in a toga.
so are you any less fat since you started doing blow?
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
I have to stop drunkenly making out with guys just because they're tall or have a beard.
You think you know everything because you're wearing a sweater
Haha sweet. I'm being the Mad Hatter. I'll be drinking out of a tea cup all night. Or at least until I inevitably lose it, break it, or use it as a weapon.
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
There may or may not be an ass shaped dent in the hood of my car. All I know is windshield wipers aren't as sturdy as you think to hold onto.
My friend asked me if I got home okay and I replied "Glad teat. Goodnight." Usually I can translate drunk me, but I'm even lost on that one.
I wish I may, I wish I might, get some daddy dick tonight
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Randomize
