If Curt Schilling could pitch a game with that blood-filled sock... if Tiger Woods won the 2008 US Open with a torn ligament, then I'd be an embarrassment to the human race if I couldn't manage to at least jerk him off even if I was still crying after he put it in my butt.
we watched a tutorial on how to do guidette makeup
there's got to be a less slutty way to tell him the baby isn't his
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
He practically bottle-fed me Jameson, like I was a baby chimpanzee on those nature specials.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
You should offer shots at parent teacher conferences..I bet more ppl come
and you stopped teaching...why?
I've been on this train for an hour and this women has been on the phone and all she's said is "guuurrrrrlllll, gurl, gurl." I may commit suicide.
TOUCH YOURSELF. DO IT.
I don't think that's how you're supposed to sext
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
Halfway through she said I was exactly like she imagined. So many things have been stroked this night.
I just saw a woman give her infant whiskey tits. About ten minutes ago she was doing shots, and now she's breast feeding. Whiskey. Tits.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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