i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
If she sucks any more cock I swear she will be a spermivore
Was just grinding with my bio TA. She asked why i wasnt studying
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
he was cradling you in his arms feeding you rum straight from the bottle and you kept sucking his fingers.
He tried to fight me not realizing that I work as a bouncer in the the same bar we were in. His night ended with him in handcuffs, missing teeth, PLUS I got his shots that he ordered since he didn't get to drink them.
I would call you but I don't feel like these hands belong to me.
we're stoned watching those roller coaster simulators w our hands up screaming on our couch
You know it's been a while when you're having to resort to positive conditioning to get women
I gave him head in my cape. On the kitchen floor. Watching a show about bacon.
There was a reason God said "Let there be titties" on the Fifth Day.
those kids just got delivered to the party by the pizza guy
If Anthony Weiner can get in trouble for sexting 2 or 3 girls I dunno how politicians will make it in 10 years.
Lol I would vote for a guy that is trying to be a senator that has a viral video of him motorboating a topless chick
I'm so horny right now but I JUST put my fuckin lasagna in the oven
Randomize