sometimes when you bring the thunder you get lost in the storm
margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
exactly what part of this weekend seemed like a good idea?
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
I am literally using a balloon as a pillow on a park bench.
hey the jello shots wont freeze
How much Everclear did you put in them?
uhhh all of it
I saw a shooting star while he was eating me out at 3am by my neighbors pool. Doesn't get more magical than that
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
Take a shit and have a hit. It's the Sunday Funday Rule.
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
He said that we couldn't refer to each other as brother and sister anymore cuz we were in no way related and he would love nothing more than to get naked with me.
Well, if you do die, I'll bedazzle your coffin.
Randomize
